Despite the title in Swahili, this is NOT another blog about my travels in Africa. But, this blog IS about an incredible journey - one that I wanted to be able to share honestly, openly... authentically. So why did I choose this strange blog name? Safari njema langu. In Swahili, this means "my good journey". It's not just my love of Africa and speaking Swahili that inspired this title, but somehow saying these words in their original language is so much more accurately descriptive than the English translation. As I'm sure most Americans do, I always defined the word safari as a trip through the African wild... the adventure of traveling rugged terrain in a 4x4, staring in awe at the expansive landscape and excitedly pointing out the exotic animals I might find through the lens of a set of binoculars. But the reality is, in Swahili, safari just means journey. It's a trip to Gramma's house for a visit, a long commute to work... boring (no offense Gramma), ordinary experiences of daily life with no guarantees of seeing a giraffe or zebra. During my travels through Africa I often had the phrase "Safari njema!" shouted at me by friends and acquaintances as I moved from one place to the next. It's basically the equivalent of "Bon voyage!", wishing me safe and happy travels.
Now, what does this have to do with my life right now - stationary back in California after returning from my trip to Zambia to finish my last year in graduate school? This phrase actually popped into my head as my pastor's wife spoke at a recent gathering of women from our church. She spoke of life as a journey and for some reason (because I had just returned from an incredible journey?) this oft-used analogy spoke to me... LOUDLY. It isn't easy to stay in one familiar place once you've tasted the excitement of world travel. Ever since my first trip to Tanzania, I became addicted to the intoxication I feel at even the thought of traveling to some new place. I had a hard time adjusting upon my return from Tanzania and even after returning to a sense of normalcy after a few months, I constantly longed for the excitement of travel. But, my return from Zambia has been different. Yes, I love travel and always will... but, I've begun to see how - even though I have returned "home" - I am embarking on a whole new journey. Maybe it's just the continuation of a life-long journey, amplified with a spark of feeling as though I'm starting a new chapter. The truth is, this ordinary life in American suburbia is just as thrilling... full of just as much uncertainty and anticipation. I have been on a journey for some time (my entire life, I suppose)... making my way towards the heart of God, diving into the depths of my inner world, and exploring the uncertain path of a destiny that has yet to be revealed to me.
The other part of why this title has so much meaning to me is that, like any of the journeys that excite me, this one is full of risk and danger. Life is crazy. Plain and simple. It's a mess of moments - full of both joy and sorrow - and you can never quite be sure which moment is coming next. This weekend alone has illustrated this fact perfectly. It felt like a month's worth of moments packed into just a few days and my head was spinning from all the drastically different emotions I was feeling. It was filled with tragedy and sorrow, joy and love, the comfort of companionship and the agony of isolation, falling flat on my face, and also being lifted up by a God that loves me (despite all my screw-ups). And at the end of the weekend, I felt joy. And I guess that's the point I'm trying to make. Yes, life is a mess. Terrible things happen and I feel completely broken sometimes. I scream and cry and my heart gets broken by the world on a daily basis it seems at times. But in the end, it is good. Life is good. God is good. This journey... is good.
So I invite you (whatever crazy person actually decided that they wanted to read the ramblings of another person who has no idea what they're talking about) to come with me on this journey. I will try to be as open and honest as I can... which is NOT an easy thing for me to get over my pride and do. I hope that in showing my vulnerability, someone might be able to relate. That's the beauty of humanity... the shared experiences of being human (even when we don't want to fess up to it). So comment... let this be a discussion, not a lecture. Call me on my b.s. and help me discover Truth through the Socratic Method. And I guess this is also a reminder to myself that I am on a journey that is exciting enough to be worthy of documentation... even if it doesn't take me outside my national borders for a while.
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